on This Earth

In a parallel series to my current series on connecting to nature in terms time and place, I am resharing some of my earlier writings about nature. I recently recovered some of the past blog posts and thought I would share them with you.

This one is from 2014 when I was about to move into my own house. This is a good post to start with as it is linked to my next post on connecting to nature. It touches on the concept of connection without possessing. That our connections are vehicles of change in our journey back to God. The original post can be found linked here.

Blog post from October 2014

“Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un” (From God and to Him is the return)

An often used phrase amongst Muslim.  Where I come from, they use it when someone passes away.  In other parts of the world, they use it when they lose something or when calamity strikes.

Tonight, as it is the last night of my stay in Shahidah’s house, it takes on a different meaning to me. It marks the beginning of another chapter in my life. This chapter is that of a house owner, of putting down roots. I have had the house for the past month. I officially moved my things on the day of Hajj, three weeks ago. I have just been dragging my heels at actually moving physically.

But why do I mention the Hajj?  It is because last year there was a lesson I learned. One that I need to remind myself of as I embark on this new journey.  That lesson was that I am in this world as a traveller. The best and fastest way to travel is to travel lightly. I should only gather the provisions that I need.  From God, I came and I am journeying to Him.  This world pulls at me…to linger and just stay a little longer to enjoy the comfort of the known.  Just like I lingered these weeks in part due to the comfort of the known instead of braving the unknown.  This past year has taught me that I cannot continue to stagnate in my comfort zone. I must take the brave step towards the Unknowable.

How does buying a house and putting roots down equate to taking another step in my journey back to God? You might wonder about this.  It is because this time, I am completely dependent on Him for my shelter.  No longer do I depend on my parents’ love and kindness to shelter me in their house. Nor my housemates’ kindness to share the burden nor my landlords’/landlady’s kindness to rent out the place.  No, this time, I have to depend on God. He will provide me with my rezk (provision) to pay towards the shelter.  It was not made lightly. It was and still is scary. If anything happens, my house can be repossessed. I will be homeless.  Therefore, a trust in God is vital.

It is also a form of a challenge – a traveller should travel lightly…I always thought it meant that I should own as little as possible so that I don’t become attach.  Even though I know of the story of the sufi ‘student’ who was living in poverty in order to renounce the world. He bade a guest to give his regards to his sheikh.  The guest found the sheikh living in a palace and was puzzled.  To be ‘zuhud’, i.e. leaving worldly attachments, does not mean that you renounce the world. But that the world has no hold on you.

Once I put down roots, can l still be that traveller on whom the world has no hold?  Can I make use of the house to be instead a vehicle to advance me onwards on my return journey?

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un now takes on a different meaning. It is that of an ongoing journey. This journey is not in time or space but in the timelessness of the soul. It is a journey of experiences accumulated through each decision I take. I exercise the only power that God has granted to me, which is my free will.  Each decision unfolds to a new experience which leads to a new understanding of my relationship with Him.  I stand on the brink of the next experience in wonder and in apprehension. What new light will be shed on this relationship?  What I can be sure of is that the return to Him is constant and continuous…that every quantum of time, I am constantly returning to Him through the unfolding of the present.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un.